Abstract
HAPPY SARA..........by MA, KWNGSOO
TRANSLATION FROM KOREAN TO ENGLISH
The main character of the novel, "Na Sara" is a junior at H University, majoring
in Fine Arts. She is approximately 168 cm (5 foot 6) tall, and she is considered
as an attractive girl. She does have some complexes with her appearance though;
she has small nose compared to size of her face, which in comparison made her
cheekbones look higher than normal. But, she is also a person with high and free
spirits, and she tries to overcome such complexes with plastic surgery on her eyes
to make it seem larger than the original, makeup, and highly fashionable hair.
She has a part time job at a nightclub as a "guest dancer." The term guest dancer
refers to girls who dance with male guests of the club for money. She gets to go
into the club for free, and gets paid for dancing and drinking with one of the
male guests.
As she became junior in college, she became more interested in the subject of sex.
Sara is not fond of her father at all. Her father was an authoritarian figure, and
she hates him for that reason. She always thought that he did not treat his family
with respect.
In her sophomore year, Sara's father's company stationed him in the United States
as the President of U.S Operations, and whole family had to move to the U.S and
she had chosen to stay in Korea.
It was natural for her to stay in Korea. The idea of being compared to foreign
girls, who seemed to be in better style, made her uncomfortable. But most of all,
she stayed behind to be "alone" or in other words, "free from her family."
One Saturday night, Sara dances with a mid-aged man at her work, and engages in a
short, fun-less, and meaningless sex at a near by hotel. It should be noted that
this was her first time she had sex with a guest of the club.
She wants to return home, but becomes lazy, and decides to spend the night alone
at the hotel. She thinks about Gi-Cheol, who she did not see for more than ten
days.
Gi-Cheol is Sara's upper classmate in college. Sara becomes little annoyed, as she
thinks about Gi-Cheol – he is passive when comes to girls, and fudge and mudge
towards idea of love, and more so towards Sara. Sara imagines an erotic fantasy,
and she masturbates in bed. Around 11:30 AM, Sara gets a small brunch, and heads
to Gi-Cheol's studio.
Sara was junior in high school, when she met Gi-Cheol. He was sophomore in
College, now she attends. He was hired as a tutor to prepare Sara for an art
college, teaching her studio exams, which was needed to enter an art college in
Korea.
Since Sara entered the college, Gi-Cheol and Sara left ex-tutor and student
relationship. She now refers Gi-Cheol as "hyung," which means older brother in
Korean – this meant the relationship had evolved to being "fellows."
Sara became interested in sex at a very young age. She started to masturbate at
end of freshman year in high school. In the same year, she watched porn at one of
her friend's places, and she this had broadened her interest in the subject. Her
desire to learn about sex, which had inquisitive nature in the beginning, soon
became "desire to practice."
The virginity, which is a symbol of "purity, innocence, and integrity of a good
woman," she wanted to get rid of as soon she possible could. And, when she did, it
was with Gi-Cheol at his studio. Unfortunately, she became pregnant. Gi-Cheol gave
a loan to Sara to have an abortion, which she paid back via working part time.
To Sara, Gi-Cheol is so called, the "first man."
Sara, visiting Gi-Cheol at his studio, engages in a heavy petting with him.
As Gi-Cheol wakes up, he has boogers all over his face. Sara removes the boogers
with her tongue. Gi-Cheol makes a happy expression!, and asks Sara to continue to
wash his face with her tongue.
Sara feels somewhat strange about Gi-Cheol's different behaviors compared to past.
Gi-Cheol, who always preferred petting over intercourse, was acting differently.
It turns out that Gi-Cheol always has liked Sara from the moment he first met her.
Gi-Cheol's personality is too passive, and after Sara got accepted at an art
college, she had become more bold and free, and this became more of a case
especially after she became a sophomore – providing an inferiority complex for Gi-
Cheol.
Gi-Cheol is tired of his loneliness. He expresses his desire to become "only man"
in Sara's life. Sara takes this as Gi-Cheol's wish of "total control" over her.
She raises herself from the bed, departs from the studio.
Sara still wants Gi-Cheol to stay as her "last option," but feels uncomfortable
with Gi-Cheol's sudden demand for "love". She senses possessiveness from Gi-Cheol,
and, it was a gloomy foreboding.
Sex whenever she wants, and petting whenever she wants, without any commitments –
that's what Sara wants with Gi-Cheol. Sara realized early that "love" was not the
cure for every disease like some believed. It did not even have any immunization
effect. It could not even fully cure the disease, called "loneliness." That was
one of the reasons that Sara was able to give up her virginity so easily, which so
many women values in Korea.
She would kiss Gi-Cheol, and all she received were disappointments. She wanted Gi-
Cheol to exist for her "dim logging," but now, even this was unclear. It seemed
that Gi-Cheol was an image that was far away, and vague. Sara can feel that his
departure from her mind.
Sara becomes depressed after she breaks up with Gi-Cheol. She concentrates in
school and her paintings to preoccupy her mind. She keeps up with her classes, and
stays late nights in school studio to work on her art works. She also eagerly
participates in conferences, and other events that were related to her studies,
however, she feels something missing from her life. But, she refuses to go back to
Gi-Cheol, which required a great effort.
Despite her complicated mind state, which should be noted that she is experiencing
first time in her life, her interest and "studies" regarding sex continues. But,
herself defined, so called sexual educational novels, such as D.H. Lawrence, and
Shulamith Firestone's "Dialectic of Sex; the Case for Feminist Revolution," bores
her, and she concludes that body's desire can not be satisfied through books.
Time passes by, and becomes middle of June, nearly end of a school semester. After
final exams, Sara experiences a horrible incident at the nightclub, where she
works as a part time dance partner. A man, who she danced with for the night,
demands Sara to go to a hotel with him. Sara is turned off by his appearance and
his rough manners, refuses him. Hurt by his own pride, the man becomes violent,
and slaps Sara on her face. That's when a beige sedan pulls by her side for the
rescue.
The driver of the car is a well-polished gentleman with proper manners. However,
he drives to a deserted place and demands Sara for sex. When things are over, he
drives Sara to her place, however, despite the shocking experience; strangely,
Sara does not feel all that bad. Sara anticipates for the man to ask her out
again, but the man drives away without a word.
After the experience, Sara realizes that she is back to herself again, cheerful
and happy. She returns to work at the nightclub every night, and enjoys watching
men's reactions to her behaviors. And one day, approximately after fifth months
since she started her job at the nightclub, she runs into Jung-Ah, a friend from
high school. Jung-Ah is from a poor family, and dropped out of school at her
senior year. It has been three years since they last met.
Jung-Ah is with a man, and introduces him to Sara. Sara shakes his hand. Sara
compares herself, and Jung-Ah, her past and present to her own. The man Jung-Ah
introduces is a businessman, Sueug-Tae Kim. Sara suspects Jung-Ah to be a
mistress, or in the other words, "Second [in Korean]." Jung-Ah does not seem
embarrassed nor appears to have any shame about her statues. As Sara dances with
Seung-Tae, she thinks that Seung-Tae is different from other middle-aged men she
has known. Sara mistakenly pokes Seung-Tae's palm of the hand with one of her
sharp fingernails. Seung-Tae, realizing that Sara has long and sharp fingernails,
takes her hand to his eyes, and closely examines her nails. Sara is both
intrigued, and curious at Seung-Tae, who is expressing interests at her nails.
Jung-Ah and Sara exchanges phone numbers as they say goodbye.
A few days later, Sara receives a call from Jung-Ah, and pays her a visit. As
suspected, Jung-Ah is a mistress of Seung-Tae. According to Jung-Ah, she met Seung-
Tae about two years ago, when she worked at a hostess bar, and Seung-Tae offered a
comfortable life to Jung-Ah in exchange for becoming his mistress. Jung-Ah, who
was tired from being alone, and frequent moves, accepted the offer.
Since then Seung-Tae has become the sponsor. Jung-Ah is paid enough to spend and
make a comfortable living, and Seung-Tae even placed her in a two-year college for
her to finish her studies in fashion. Seung-Tae was like a father and older
brother to Jung-Ah, and a sex partner by night. After hearing all this, Sara's
curiosity grows towards Seung-Tae.
Sara presumes that Seung-Tae has an unusual sexual taste, or an unusual fetish to
be more exact. He has a fetish for long and sharp fingernails. Sara also learns
that one of Seung-Tae's fantasies is to have sex with two women at the same time.
From conversation with Jung-Ah, Sara learns that Seung-Tae really wants to
experience the threesome. Sara is interested at the threesome as well, and she
thinks of joining them if allowed.
One day, Sara visits Jung-Ah's place and together, watch adult videotape about
lesbians. Sara takes her clothes off, so does Jung-Ah, and two dances, and starts
to pet each other. Jung-Ah tells that the tape was from Seung-Tae, and this
intrigues Sara.
Jung-Ah and Sara becomes very close friends. Sara even has a copy of a key to Jung-
Ah's place. One day Sara walks into Jung-Ah and Seung-Tae having anal sex. Sara
joins them in the act as Seung-Tae plays porn about one man and two women having
sex. They try to follow the porn. In mid of August, Seung-Tae and Jung-Ah fly out
to Jeju Island, one of the most famous resorts in Korea.
On the plane, Sara and Jung-Ah shocks passengers with their sexy outfits. Lodging
in Hyatt Hotel, spends most of time together in a room, being naked most of time,
and enjoy constant sex. However, after the trip, Sara feels somewhat estranged,
and picks up the phone to call Gi-Cheol, but hangs up before she dials the number.
A few days later, Seung-Tae calls Sara and offers to meet without Jung-Ah, and
Sara, hesitantly accepts the date. They meet in a place called "Westwood," a room
café, and engage in petting, and chatting.
The autumn semester starts and Sara discovers a new professor, Ji-Sup Han,
Professor of "Literature and Human," among her general education requirements. Not
finding general education subject that fits her schedule, Sara signs up for Prof.
Han's class.
Sara gets crush at Prof. Han, as she sits in the first lecture of "Literature and
Human". Prof. Han reminded Sara of John Lennon in some ways – wearing thick black
eye glasses, he has a slender body, and sharp nose. "He looks sadistic," Sara
thinks. His voice is rich and full, which seems strange compared to his skinny
physics. He talks straight, sometimes using street slangs, such as fuck this, fuck
that, however, he has a talent in logic, and the lectures are flawless. Sara
becomes very interested in Prof. Han, especially in his ideas expressed during
lectures, "Love equals sexual desires."
As the class continues, Sara finds herself more and more drawn to Prof. Han. One
day Prof. Han lectures while smoking a cigarette in the lecture hall, and asks
students to join him. Sara falls in love with Prof. Han at this very moment, and
pledges to love Prof. Han. Without realization, she takes out a cigarette and
smokes. [It should be noted that in Korea, smoking is a very complicated cultural
matter, especially for women. For instance, a student cannot smoke in front of a
teacher or an elder. Also, women are forbidden to smoke in public areas,
especially back in early 90s when Happy Sara was first introduced.]
Now Sara is in deep thoughts without realizing other students' surprise to her
action. She gets a wet fantasy about Prof. Han; having sex with him at a stage,
where Sara is a pianist. Sara awakes from her fantasy, only when cigarette almost
burns her.
Having crush at Prof. Han, Sara drops her "Lao-tse and Chung-tze Theory," and adds
Prof. Han's "History of Literature." However, more Sara falls in love with Prof.
Han, she becomes lonelier, and accepts almost every man's demand to sleep from the
nightclub. It has been a year since Sara started to work at the club, and now,
she's no longer a part time dancer, but had become a full time worker.
One day Sara accepts an offer to work at a private hostess club. She walks into a
room, and joins three rich looking men who are in mid-30s. And one of them
introduces her to Cheol Kim, who is an underground singer songwriter. Cheol sings
one of his songs to Sara, and Sara, to thank Cheol, strip dances in front of men.
After drinks, Cheol comes to Sara, and whispers, "I am going nuts, because I am in
love with you. Please give me your phone number". Sara hands over the number, and
feels that she is unable to spend the night with him.
Sara and Cheol start to see each other. And, the relationship brings somewhat
easiness to Sara in dealing with her feelings towards Prof. Han. Sara finds
comfort in the relationship with Cheol.
One day, Sara receives a call from Cheol, asking her to come to a café, "Be Fool,"
where he sings. Cheol has a weak body [his health is not that great], however,
this is more attractive to her than Seung-Tae ever was to her; sex with Seung-Tae
was mainly based on his pride, especially his manly strength. After the café,
Cheol takes Sara to his place near the café. Cheol is very different from Seung-
Tae. Seung-Tae relied largely on his penis when it came to sex, however, Cheol is
sensitive and artistic; he took his time expressing his emotions through his
touch.
Time flies and it's already end of another semester. Sara regularly goes to work
at the private club three or four times a week, and sees Cheol at least once a
week. She also tries hard to attend Prof. Han's classes, which is six hours per
week. Because of Prof. Han, Sara starts to think about "ideal man" for her. Prof.
Han was indeed, an attractive man to Sara. Gi-Cheol is emotionally fragile, and
Seung-Cheol, Sara cannot find a class in him. Cheol is cute and he is also a well-
mannered feminist, however, he is far from having a charisma, which Sara desires.
Her ideal man, probably at least from appearance perspective, Prof. Han was the
closest.
Prof. Han asks students to write a story in free style for the final exam, with
emphasis in "freedom," noting that whatever the medium, whether photos, writings,
or paintings, he asks to provide something that can wake up one's imagination.
One student jokingly asks whether he is permitted to write about his body, and
Prof. Han answers, "If it moves me, yes." Sara feels split about the task. In one
hand she is excited about the opportunity, -- opportunity to demonstrate herself
to Prof. Han, but, in the other hand, she feels lazy, not wanting to care much
about the final.
In relationship with Cheol, he has become more of a friend than a man to Sara.
Cheol calls Sara almost every night, punctually around two o'clock, and whispers
that he loves her in soft, and respectable voice.
Cheol's such acts comforts Sara in a way. The comfort is from assurance that Cheol
is hers. Cheol is kind of a character that lowers him in front of every woman.
It's his second nature. Cheol is very similar to Gi-Cheol in emotional weakness,
however, when looked in deep, they were totally different characters.
Sara truly feels sorry for Cheol. Kim offers to love and even serve her, and he
does. Through Cheol, Sara learns that man too can become a masochist. More and
more Sara finds herself at the café, Be Fool. The emptiness from loving Prof. Han
without any return over the year, somehow settles her when she is with Cheol. Sara
is truly finding comfort in him.
However, Sara is still interested in Prof. Han, and even wishes her first meeting
with him to be dramatic, and romantic, but it never comes true. She imagines
herself coincidently meeting Prof. Han on a rainy day, and waits in the campus;
however, the person who followed her is not Prof. Han, but a classmate Seung-Kyu
Choi. Seung-Ku takes Sara to a cheap rice wine bar, [dirt cheap if I may add]
where art students would hang out. Sara watches Seung-Kyu, and finds a third rated
artist with low self-esteem, and shocked by it. That's when she thinks of Prof.
Han. She realizes that to meet Prof. Han, she has to take an official route, not
any romantic coincident.
Sara writes twenty-page report filled with sexual fantasies, and visits Prof.
Han's office, with a sexiest outfit from her wardrobe at last day of the semester.
The office sign indicates Prof. Han is in his office. Sara knocks on the door, but
there's no answer. Sara tries again, and still there's no answer. She turns back,
and she hears a sound coming from the room. Sara knocks on the door harder, and
she hears a voice granting the entry.
Prof. Han is playing with six coins. Sara hands her report. Prof. Han reviews the
papers, and compliments her about the report. He says he likes the story, and its
structure. However, there is a report that Sara can not turn in for Prof. Han's
another class, "History of Literature." Prof. Han agrees to accept "action report"
instead of written one. For return, Sara has to obey one of Prof. Han's requests.
It turns out Prof. Han was practicing I Ching, and for rest of the hour, Sara
listens as Prof. Han explains the philosophy of I Ching. Sara feels like she is
drowning into Prof. Han's conversations. Sara asks what he seeks through I Ching,
and Prof. Han answers that he's seeking love.
There's certain uneasiness in Prof. Han's office in two being alone in the office,
since, Prof. Han is a professor who is young and single, and Sara is a young
attractive student. Sara wants to get rid of such uneasiness, and nervousness. She
raises herself to sit on Prof. Han's lap. Without thinking, she spreads her legs,
sitting on Prof. Han's lap, and kisses him deeply. A while later Prof. Han and
Sara step out to a bar to get beer. Sara takes him to a place she always thought
ideal for two of them to go, a café called, Mezami. Prof. Han talks about his
views on love between man and woman, and problems that are caused by today's
perceptions. Sara's feel of Prof. Han is that he is a man who prefers sexy
appearances, and asks for submission; one that would ware heavy makeup, and
provide petting just for him, without any arguments or opinions. He likes woman
who makes him "comfortable," and who needs "low maintenance."
Sara compares Seung-Tae to Prof. Han. "If Seung-Tae is an experienced sly dog kind
of egoist, Prof. Han is a young innocent kind one," she thinks. Strange thing is
that she can understand him. At least she thinks that she can.
A week passes by, and Sara revisits Prof. Han. Prof. Han wants to get a drink, and
offers to take her to a café, "Crazy Horse." The café is located not to far from
Sara's place, and Sara offers to have drinks at home, which Prof. Han accepted. As
soon as they enter the home, Sara is all over Prof. Han. Prof. Han, drinking
beer, says that it was more comfortable than in a café, and he is happy that they
have decided on Sara's place.
Two engage in conversations about various matters – college, family, and
impression Prof. Han had when he saw Sara for the first time. Sara is also honest
about herself. As Sara learns more about Prof. Han, she confirm!s how she feels
about him, and concludes that she is right. She feels that Prof. Han is the man
she has been searching for; man with "brazen charisma." Then she jumps on Prof.
Han's pants, and engages on heavy petting.
Sara and Prof. Han concentrates on each other's bodies that night. Next morning,
Sara prepares breakfast for him. Prof. Han is brazen indeed. He orders Sara to do
this and that, but somehow, to Sara, it does not feel all that bad. Actually, she
feels joy in his ordering and her obedience.
The night she spent with Prof. Han has changed her. She now hates to go to the bar
to work, neither wants to see Cheol anymore. Only thing she can think of is being
with Prof. Han, and wants to spend rest of her life with him. She can not get
enough of him. "Prof. Han teaches me what real petting is like, and he does so
with various techniques," she thinks. There were many things that Prof. Han
demands as "his wishes" to Sara when it comes to making out. However, Sara is glad
to take such demands, and serves him happily.
The New Year approaches, and Sara enjoys seeing Prof. Han until end of January.
Some times she gets a call from Cheol in the middle of night, and she is annoyed
by it. She thinks about breaking the relationship with Cheol, but she decides to
consider him as just a good friend.
It becomes February, and Prof. Han and Sara meet less frequently. Sara does not
want to lose Prof. Han, and tells him about her interests in marriage. But, Prof.
Han says that marriage and dating was two separate issues, and he feels he will
regret it if he's married. Sara is upset and annoyed at Prof. Han's response. She
asks Prof. Han to look at her I Ching. Her I Ching comes out as "kyui-mae [woman's
return, this means that woman returns home after rejected from marriage. In old
Confucianism days in Korea, marriage was the ultimate happiness for women, and
rejection or forced divorce by husband, meant ultimate misery. In general of
cases, people's perception of women who were "returned home," was due to adultery,
and could no longer be accepted as proper lady. Usually, such women had to become
a mistress or live as a prostitute.]" Prof. Han tells Sara it will be better for
her to not to have any jobs, but she should meet a lot of men, and freely enjoy
sex. "Don't think about marriage for a while," he says, "but try to be more free
with your flesh, and also try to become a real, a truly sexy woman."
Sara becomes a senior. She now sees Prof. Han once a week or so, which is
significantly less compared to the past. She visits Cheol, who she did not visit
for a long time. "He is the one who makes her most comfortable," she thinks. Cheol
proposes to Sara that night. But Sara felt that it might be her loss if she
marries him, and turns him down without saying definite "No."
Seung-Gu, third-rated artist, also expresses interest to Sara. She detests him
first, however, she finds him somewhat attractive in a way as time passes. One
night, after drinking cheap rice wine in a cheap student bar, they have sex in a
cheap motel. In sex with Seung-Gu, she does not have to do anything. All Sara has
to do is to lay still. Seung-Gu does have some sexual appeals to Sara. However,
Sara does not like his appearance. Sara becomes more and more busy. She is now
dating Prof. Han, Seoung-Gu, and Cheol.
Sara prepares for her mid-term painting projects with her colleague Mi-Ae. And one
day, Mi-Ae's fiancé visits the studio. His name is Joo-Hyung Roh. Joo-Hyung and
Mi-Ae plan to get some coffee near the university, and Joo-Hyung asks Sara to
join.
At a coffee shop, Sara is envious of Mi-Ae, who is more attractive and smart. Sara
decides to play around, and lifts her foot up, placing it in Joo-Hyung's groin.
Sara can tell Joo-Hyung is shocked by Sara's actions. Sara, carefully staring at
Joo-Hyung's reactions, presses Joo-Hyung's groin with her high hills. He looks
embarrassed, and Sara silently laughs at Joo-Hyung's reaction.
Next morning, Joo-Hyung calles Sara. Sara gives directions to the bar she works.
Joo-Hyung confesses to Sara that he is in love with her. He says that Mi-Ae is
most suitable lady who he met through family arrangements, and does not love her.
And, confesses that he has been searching for a woman who is honest, and not shy
about sexuality, and he says that Sara is that someone.
At first, Sara is overwhelmed by Joo-Hyung's remarks. Something that started as a
joke brought her a man who would be considered as one of the most desirable
bachelor in Korea. "He is as good as being certified by Korean government,
officially," she thinks. That's when she thinks of what Prof. Han said to her.
Nothing is better in life than being truly sexy. Sara laughs after hearing Joo-
Hyung's words, and does not reply. Joo-Hyung becomes desperate, trying to
understand meaning of Sara's laughs.
Sara says goodbye to Joo-Hyung, as other clients ask for her. Joo-Hyung continues
to contact Sara, and tries to win her heart by bringing his friends to the bar,
and asks her for marriage. However, Sara tells Joo-Hyung to settle his
surroundings first. This meant break up with Mi-Ae before he asks her out. At
these comments, Joo-Hyung becomes depressed. But the fact that a noble man, like
Joo-Hyung, asked her for marriage makes Sara happy.
One day Sara receives a letter from Prof. Han. The letter asks for the "return of
favor" which they agreed one year ago when she did not turn in a report. The
letter asks Sara to never to call him, and never to appear in front of him. The
reason he states is that he wants to give a "true freedom" to Sara. Sara's pride
crumbles, and she feels anger. After she calms herself down, she goes to school,
and hears that Gi-Cheol had committed a suicide. Sara is shocked at Gi-Cheol's
death – a death, which did not even leave last note. She returns home somewhat
numb.
Sara is in Prof. T's class, and she is lost in thoughts of Gi-Cheol. After the
class, Prof. T calls her for a conversation. Prof. T is an authoritarian figure
like Sara's dad, and he has been always critical of Sara in how she dresses, and
how she acted. He claimed that she dressed too sexy, not appropriate for a college
student.
In his office, Prof. T gives Sara an amorous look, and asks her to apply for
graduate school to become one of his students. He even offers Sara an assistant
professor position under him. This makes Sara sick to the stomach. Sara, facing
Prof. T's double standards, gently refuses him. Prof. T asks Sara to join him for
a drink, and Sara refuses again, and runs out of the office.
As soon as Sara returns home, she grabs a bottle, and drinks in her bed. She has
too many thoughts in her mind. She feels as if she is drowning in a deep ocean,
and falls asleep. When she wakes, it's already late evening. She thinks of going
to the bar, to her work. She carefully puts the makeup. Her hair, accessories, and
clothes… she makes herself look as sexy as she can. She looks at herself in the
mirror, and feels that she looks more attractive than that morning. She laughs
joyfully, as the morning's shock dissolves away. She feels as if she can meet a
wonderful man at work. For a moment, she thinks of what Prof. Han wrote in the
letter, the word "freedom." And, strangely, she does not remember Prof. Han
anymore. That was not all. She does not remember Gi-Cheol, Seung-Tae, Cheol Kim,
Joo-Hyung Roh, Seung-Gu Choi, and etc. The memories of men she encountered seemed
far a way, as if from her reincarnation.