작년 (2006) 뉴욕타임즈 12월 17일자에 따르자면, 우리 모두가 결혼 전에 물었어야 했을 열다섯 가지 질문이 있다는데, 그것들은 다음과 같다.
내 생각에는 장장 열다섯 개나 되는 목록을 늘어놓는 대신,단 한 가지를 묻는 것으로 족할 듯 하다. 미래에도 지금과 같이 한결같을 것인가? 누가 그 질문에 답을 할 수 있담?
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/17/fashion/weddings/17FIELDBOX.html?ei=5087%0A&em=&en=986ff8450dcc0d90&ex=1168146000&pagewanted=print
1) 아이를 낳을 것인가? 낳을 거라면, 누가 그 아이를 돌볼 것인가?
Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
2) 상대방의 경제적 의무와 목표는 각각 무엇이며 지출과 수입이 어느 정도 일치하기를 원하는가?
Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
3) 가사노동은 누가 얼마나 할 것인가?
Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
4) 신체적 정신적 건강에 관련한 모든 과거사를 알고 있는가?
Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
5) 상대가 내가 원하는 만큼 애정표현을 해주는가?
Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
6) 성적 필요와 선호도, 두려움을 공개적으로 논할 수 있는가?
Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
7) 안방에 티비를 들일 것인가?
Will there be a television in the bedroom?
8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
12) What does my family do that annoys you?
13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?