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And yet, I always felt so happy and creative in the studio. Recording forBlackout, I felt so much freedom. Working with amazing producers, I got to play.
I loved that no one was overthinking things and that I got to say what I liked and didn’t like. I knew exactly what I wanted, and I loved so much of what was offered to me. Coming into the studio and hearing these incredible sounds and getting to put down a vocal on them was fun. Despite my reputation at the time, I was focused and excited to work when I came in. It was what was going on outside the studio that was so upsetting.
The album was a kind of battle cry. After years of being meticulous, trying to please my mom and my dad, it was my time to say "Fuck you."
I would go into bars with a friend, and the friend would just bring a camera, and that’s how we shot "Gimme More."
To be clear, I’m not saying I’m proud of it. "Gimme More" is by far the worst video I’ve ever shot in my life. I don’t like itat all—it’s so tacky. It looks like we only spent three thousand dollars to shoot it. And yet, even though it was bad, it worked for what it was. And the more I started going and doing things myself, the more interesting people started noticing and wanting to work with me. I wound up randomly finding really good people, just by word of mouth.
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