미국인이 보내준 메일인데, 재미있어서 퍼와봅니다.
things you have to believe to be a Republican today:
Jesus loves you and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush 41 made
war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy
when Bush 43 needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade
with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest
national priority is enforcing U.N. Resolutions against Iraq.
A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind
without regulation.
The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in
speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then
demand their cooperation and money.
Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing
health care to all Americans is socialism.
HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at
heart.
Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
creationism should be taught in schools.
A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable
offence, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which
thousands die is solid defence policy.
Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution,
which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
The public has a right to know about Hillary Clinton's cattle trades,
but George W. Bush's driving record is none of our business.
Bill Clinton spent 8 years trying to secretly kill Osama Bin Laden
without taking the lives of thousands of innocent people and American
soldiers. He is accused of doing nothing and being the bad guy. Bush has
spent 5 years trying to openly kill Osama Bin Laden while taking the
lives of thousands of innocent people and American Solders and invading
two separate countries to do it, but he is the good guy.
Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
conservative radio host like Rush Limbaugh. Then it's an illness and you
need our prayers for your recovery.
What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but
what Bush 43 did in the '80s is irrelevant.