down of rules for any relationship we might have, were weto go out together.
I‘d better explain what the concept of "going out" withsomeone meant back then, because time has changed it. Iwas talking recently to a woman friend whose daughter hadcome to her in a state of distress. She was in her secondterm at university, and had been sleeping with a boy whohad-openly, and to her knowledge—been sleeping withseveral other girls at the same time. What he was doing wasauditioning them all before deciding which to "go out"
with. The daughter was upset, not so much by the system-though she half-perceived its injustice-as by the fact thatshe hadn‘t been the one finally chosen.
This made me feel like a survivor from some antique,
bypassed culture whose members were still using carved tur-nips as a form of monetary exchange. Back in "my day"-11 10