Healing comes from understanding and love, not blame. When we can understand the barriers to love that our mothers faced, which resulted in their inability to give us love, we can begin to take steps to ensure our own well-being. Your goal is to understand and to take responsibility for yourself and to heal.
The form of forgiveness that you choose to implement eradicates blame so thoroughly that you have no traces of feeling like a victim. For if you continue to live in a victim mentality, you are at risk of defining your life based on your wounds.
Empathy
To empathize involves identifying the feelings your child is expressing and telling him or her that you recognize the feeling in the moment.
Empathizing is not agreeing, it is acknowledging a real feeling.
Accountability
When you are practicing accountability, no matter what happens to me, it is my responsibility to manage my own feelings and behavior. I am only a victim if I choose to be one.
